Green-Eyed Monster

Have you ever said some version of this:

“I mean I’m totally not jealous of them. It’s not a jealousy thing. I just think they are wrong for the part.” (When you ALSO went for that part…)

Or…

“It’s the way they sing it… I just don’t like HOW they do it. I think their technique is off…” (And in your mind you KNOW you could do it better…)

OR (to take it outside of the performance realm…)

“They look AWFUL in those gym clothes…” (But that also means they went to the gym and actually took care of their body when maybe YOU are NOT doing that...?)

Whether you want to admit it to yourself or not, this is JEALOUSY. And I KNOW what that feels like. That feeling that it SHOULD have been you. That you felt like you ROCKED that audition and you’re not getting any props for doing so. That feeling of knowing how HARD you know you’ve worked and yet… someone else got the part… (maybe AGAIN…)

And jealousy is SO EASY to fall into without even being aware of it. It happens to me ALL. THE. TIME. Not because I want it to. Not because I mean to. But because it is, ultimately, the human condition. And as humans we have two choices whenever we encounter something we don’t like.

Stay stuck and complain about it.
Or GROW from it.

So I’d like to offer you a way to move out of your jealousy when it takes you over. It's called...

COMPERSION!

The idea of compersion comes from a completely different world than performance but it SOOOOOO APPLIES. Compersion is the OPPOSITE of jealousy. Instead of being unhappy or hurt that a need of YOURS isn’t getting met…

You find a way to be HAPPY and GRATEFUL that another person's needs are getting met.

And this can look like a lot of different things! It can be as simple as...

• truly enjoying the smile on your friend’s face when they find out they got the part you both wanted…
• acknowledging that someone who types similarly as you REALLY rocked their audition and deserved that role.
• seeing outer pieces, like the fact that someone will be able to more easily pay their bills because they have the income from this role.

It can be HARD too! Sometimes jealousy sneaks up on me and I have to very actively question it and search for reasons to be happy for someone.

And at the end of the day it’s worth it because that seedling of jealousy can’t take root and grow. And I get to keep moving forward in my career and create deep and meaningful relationships with people that, if I HAD let jealousy win, I never would have gotten to know.

Because here’s the other thing I know about jealousy. It feels CRAPPY to live there. It SUCKS when you’ve got things to be doing and all you can think about is the unfairness that’s been done to you or how much better life would be if XYZ was just a little different.

There’s a secondary benefit to compersion actually. It allows you to fully CELEBRATE your successes. You are allowed to feel AWESOME when you accomplish something, whether it’s as big as getting a lead, or as little as making it to the gym that day.

CELEBRATE THAT!

And let others have space to celebrate when good things happen to them as well!

At the end of the day, your life didn’t work out that way, and someone else's did. And wouldn’t you want them to truly and honestly congratulate you when your next success comes along?

In a world where we so often connect through complaints and negativity, be the shining light in the room that can’t be extinguished.

In a world where we so often connect through complaints and negativity, be the shining light in the room that can't be extinguished.

Not sure how to find your COMPERSION? Reach out and let's see if I can help ;)