Blog Archives

Green-Eyed Monster

7/15/2019

Have you ever said some version of this:

“I mean I’m totally not jealous of them. It’s not a jealousy thing. I just think they are wrong for the part.” (When you ALSO went for that part…)

Or…

“It’s the way they sing it… I just don’t like HOW they do it. I think their technique is off…” (And in your mind you KNOW you could do it better…)

OR (to take it outside of the performance realm…)

“They look AWFUL in those gym clothes…” (But that also means they went to the gym and actually took care of their body when maybe YOU are NOT doing that...?)

Whether you want to admit it to yourself or not, this is JEALOUSY. And I KNOW what that feels like. That feeling that it SHOULD have been you. That you felt like you ROCKED that audition and you’re not getting any props for doing so. That feeling of knowing how HARD you know you’ve worked and yet… someone else got the part… (maybe AGAIN…)

And jealousy is SO EASY to fall into without even being aware of it. It happens to me ALL. THE. TIME. Not because I want it to. Not because I mean to. But because it is, ultimately, the human condition. And as humans we have two choices whenever we encounter something we don’t like.

Stay stuck and complain about it.
Or GROW from it.

So I’d like to offer you a way to move out of your jealousy when it takes you over. It's called...

COMPERSION!

The idea of compersion comes from a completely different world than performance but it SOOOOOO APPLIES. Compersion is the OPPOSITE of jealousy. Instead of being unhappy or hurt that a need of YOURS isn’t getting met…

You find a way to be HAPPY and GRATEFUL that another person's needs are getting met.

And this can look like a lot of different things! It can be as simple as...

truly enjoying the smile on your friend’s face when they find out they got the part you both wanted…
acknowledging that someone who types similarly as you REALLY rocked their audition and deserved that role.
seeing outer pieces, like the fact that someone will be able to more easily pay their bills because they have the income from this role.

It can be HARD too! Sometimes jealousy sneaks up on me and I have to very actively question it and search for reasons to be happy for someone.

And at the end of the day it’s worth it because that seedling of jealousy can’t take root and grow. And I get to keep moving forward in my career and create deep and meaningful relationships with people that, if I HAD let jealousy win, I never would have gotten to know.

Because here’s the other thing I know about jealousy. It feels CRAPPY to live there. It SUCKS when you’ve got things to be doing and all you can think about is the unfairness that’s been done to you or how much better life would be if XYZ was just a little different.

There’s a secondary benefit to compersion actually. It allows you to fully CELEBRATE your successes. You are allowed to feel AWESOME when you accomplish something, whether it’s as big as getting a lead, or as little as making it to the gym that day.

CELEBRATE THAT!

And let others have space to celebrate when good things happen to them as well!

At the end of the day, your life didn’t work out that way, and someone else's did. And wouldn’t you want them to truly and honestly congratulate you when your next success comes along?

In a world where we so often connect through complaints and negativity, be the shining light in the room that can’t be extinguished.

In a world where we so often connect through complaints and negativity, be the shining light in the room that can't be extinguished.

Not sure how to find your COMPERSION? Reach out and let's see if I can help ;)

0 Comments

Niche Yo'Self!

7/1/2019

0 Comments

When I was in school for theater, I was told what most theater kids are told:

"Try EVERYTHING. Say yes to EVERYTHING .”

So… I did that. For a LOOONG time. And it was SUPER useful in many ways. Theater is the reason I know how to use a drill, paint on a badass bruise, use nail polish to fix nylons, run a light board, organize a rehearsal schedule, pump up a group of people, manage a group of people, LEAD a group of people, etc.

But, once I was no longer in school, it was super NOT useful.

Because I didn’t know where to show up.
I didn’t know how to demand my worth.
I didn’t know that my time SHOULD have an hourly amount attached to it. Even if that is situation specific.
I didn’t know that burnout didn’t have to be my way of life.

At least, not until I started a business. And started learning BUSINESS things. And started having to MARKET myself (HELLOOOOOO! Isn’t that what ALL performers are doing ?!?!?!?!?!?!!)

The most useful thing I learned through marketing?

Find. Your. Niche.

Your niche (in biz) is the super specific sub-sub-sub-type of what your business does. For example, I’m a voice teacher and health coach. So let’s take the health part.

I could, in theory, shout my services out to anyone who wants to pay me and they could, in theory, hire me for whatever I want to charge.

But that’s not actually how sales works. Sales works by speaking to SPECIFICS. Specific people, about a specific problem.

So, I’m a health coach who works primarily with performers who have hectic, non-traditional, lifestyles who need their energy going often late into the night so they can show up and be their best on stage in roles that are frequently super physical.

That's SPECIFIC.

And it means that when people who are in the performance world need help with their health, they know exactly who to come to. And they do!

In performance, we call “niching” your “type”. The super specific thing you do best on stage.

I will forever and always be able to show up for most auditions for “Mom” because that is my type.

Yes, I’m good at many other things as well. Yes, I find doing other roles fulfilling. And yes, I will sometimes go for those other roles.

But I REGULARLY don’t have to audition for shows BECAUSE people know they can count on a good performance from me within this type. I’ve sold myself this way as a performer and show up and do my job WELL.

And, because I know what I want to go for and what is appropriate for me, I know that I’m not wasting my time at auditions that aren’t going to go the way I want them to.

Meaning…

More time for friends
More time for family
More time for work
More MONEY because I can work outside of performance
More time doing less time intensive gigs that STILL pay me

You can be the go-to guy for EVERYTHING….

But ultimately that means you’re becoming very mediocre at MANY things…

Instead of EXCELLENT at just a few.

SPECIFICITY and FOCUS breeds EXCELLENCE.

Niche yo’self!
Not sure what your “type” is?
OR think your type only exists within, like, 2 roles?
Reach out to me! I can help with that ;)

0 Comments

Green-Eyed Monster

Stay stuck and complain about it.
Or GROW from it.

COMPERSION!

You find a way to be HAPPY and GRATEFUL that another person's needs are getting met.

CELEBRATE THAT!

In a world where we so often connect through complaints and negativity, be the shining light in the room that can't be extinguished.

Niche Yo'Self!

Author

Archives

Categories

contact

Green-Eyed Monster

Stay stuck and complain about it. Or GROW from it.

COMPERSION!

You find a way to be HAPPY and GRATEFUL that another person's needs are getting met.

CELEBRATE THAT!

In a world where we so often connect through complaints and negativity, be the shining light in the room that can't be extinguished.

Niche Yo'Self!

Author

Archives

Categories

contact

Stay stuck and complain about it.
Or GROW from it.