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Becoming a Thriving Artist... by Nikki Starcat Shields

8/31/2020

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It's no news that your passionate creative work can take over your life.

Anyone who’s ever had a big dream, from being a famous actor to writing a bestseller, knows the feeling. You’re driven by a deep inner drive to achieve that dream at all costs.
​

But what does that really mean - “at all costs?” Are you willing to sacrifice intimate relationships, family harmony, and even your physical health? 

Sadly, sometimes we feel like we don’t have a choice. We live by the identity that chose us: Singer. Actress. Drummer. Author. 

It feels like, in order to do this Big Thing, we need to let all else fall by the wayside. We’ve been sold a bill of goods about “having it all,” but it soon becomes obvious that, without an onsite staff, it’s not easily done. 

Fortunately, it’s really not necessary to give up your life in order to create. One of my writing clients, who joined my group program because she wanted to write about the work she does, shared this epiphany after several weeks of being guided to write her book:

“I can actually do this!” she told me. “I thought I had to somehow make myself into a writer - I had being an author up on a pedestal, far removed from who I am in my daily life.” 

We think that we have to become a performer or a writer. We think we have to “do our time,” suffer for our art, and be a starving artist, in it for the long haul. 

But we can actually integrate our art into our lives, even when the drive to succeed threatens to take over. 

Your creative passion is not your entire identity. What you do is not the only thing you are. It's just one part of it.

Your muses don’t want you to give up the little pleasures of life. Rather than starving yourself, literally or figuratively, you can integrate your art into your life in a way that allows you to thrive.

My big passion in life is writing. But I have other creative endeavors that feed my soul, including playing percussion. I’m also a Mom. I belonged to a performance troupe for several years, when my teenagers were still at home. It was important to me to balance the various aspects of my life. 

As our Vaudeville-style troupe began to get more gigs, I was careful to pick and choose which ones I would participate in. This approach got me some strange looks from my fellow performers. Not taking every single gig you can get? Weird, right? 

Granted, performing wasn’t my primary creative passion. But even with writing, I’m determined to pace myself. Yes, there are certainly weeks when I’m burning the candle at both ends, pouring everything into a manuscript. But it’s not every week. 

I swim, I do yoga, I play games with my family, I walk on the beach with my friends. The muses don’t get to steal my life away. I’m determined to live a joyful and balanced life.

No, you haven’t seen my books on the New York Times bestseller list - yet. I know I’ll get there. But I’ll do it on my terms, with a smile on my face, hand in hand with my muses.

So how can you have some of this blissful balance for yourself? Here are my top three tips for crafting a life of balanced creativity:

Learn to love who you are. 
We’re most tempted to put too much into a particular passion when we’re not convinced of our basic worth. We’re trying to prove something to the world. When you learn to love yourself unconditionally, you create because it’s enjoyable. You do it because you love it, not in order to be loved. When you love yourself, you’re also less likely to ignore your body’s basic needs. 


Set up a sacred container. 
We creative types often rebel against structure, but I’ve learned to lean on it, instead. Having a daily calendar - I use a bullet journal, as it’s flexible and customizable - fosters balance. I set aside time for movement, healthy meals, and plenty of sleep. I make sure I schedule creative time, but also time to read and visit family members. Nope, I don’t always follow my schedule to the last detail, but having it as a guideline is invaluable.


Find support. 
The best thing I’ve done as I’ve built my life as a Thriving Artist is to find other creatives who are also devoted to living a balanced, healthy lifestyle. I have a lovely circle of creative sisters. We remind one another of what’s truly important in life. When one of us gets carried away by creative passion - in a way that is unsustainable - the others ask the right questions. We keep one another on track. We share the ups and downs. We encourage and support one another, in work and in life.


​
The thing is, you can have it all - but not one someone else’s timeline or in our celebrity-obsessed culture’s narrow mold. Did you know that those top-level celebrities do have an onsite staff helping them look put-together? 

You can be a success in your chosen field, surfing the waves of your creative passion, and feel rested and well when you get up in the morning. It’s your life. You get to live it in a way that feels good. ​

You deserve to be a Thriving Artist.
​

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Make sure to check out and follow Nikki on social media!

http://www.NikkiStarcatShields.com - where you can sign up for her newsletter!
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YOU are the INSTRUMENT & YOUR LIFE is the MUSIC... by Pyeng Threadgill

8/24/2020

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Do you ever notice how you feel when a new audition or job opportunity comes in?

The racing heartbeat, maybe ecstatic visualization of a sold out theater, then the fear that maybe you are too late and soon you are scrambling to respond to that message? It’s so easy to delve into your inbox, bathe in social media, even jump into your music and forget to take time to connect with yourself.

As performing artists, I often feel that our medium has taught us to neglect all things for a potential job… not even a job, a potential job! Lol! You skip meals, work outs, sleep... all so that you can try out a role, prepare for your solo, write the next song, promote your show. 

I know, because I have been there! As artists even the phrases we use like “keep up the hustle” reflect this over-emphasis on the external. I have to say it wasn’t until I became a mother that I really could observe the toll that my work habits had taken on my body. Sure, I could work through the day when my daughter was at school, forget to eat, stay up late sending out emails to presenters, venues or bandmates and while I thought I was available to music, the fact that I felt more tired and irritable with my family was a signal that in fact something was out of balance. 

As an Alexander Technique teacher we spend a great deal of time observing physical and mental habits in order to sense the moment when your mind tells your body to work harder in order to hit a note, lift your arm, take a step forward. This same kind of “over-efforting” can often be observed on a macro level as well. For example how you approach your job as an artist?

Part of what I love helping students to understand and Embody is that YOU are the instrument and EVERYTHING is your art! Your getting out of bed, the food you choose to prepare for yourself, the way you schedule your day and whether you leave yourself breaks or not, all of it is your art.

If you want a long lasting career, you need to prioritize ALL of you, not just the performance onstage.

So where are you forgetting to see your life as an art?

In your personal relationships? in your meal planning?, in your movement?, even in how you approach your music? And what kind of support do you need to feel more balanced so that you can fully show up in your life and onstage? 

​If you feel like you need this kind of accountability, I offer a monthly series called “Tuning In” for music accountability and embodied artist practice. To find out more, 
email here and make sure to schedule your next session with Katie. :)
​
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Make sure to check out and follow Pyeng on social media!

www.pyengnyc.com - sign up for her newsletter here as well!
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IG: @pyengthreadgill
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How to say NO so that you can say YES... by Meghan Collier

8/17/2020

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Think about saying "NO" for a second.

How does that feel? Does it make you feel panicky or like you couldn’t possibly do it? Maybe some stress or anxiety came up. Or perhaps memories of moments when you wanted to say no but didn’t feel you could. Or maybe you’re like, “Hell yeah! I LOVE saying no!” For many folx, the idea of saying no feels scary and like something that is really out of reach. But remember, every time you say yes to one thing, you are saying no to something else – so actually you already have lots of practice in this. 

As a performer and a psychotherapist, I know how important boundaries and saying no are. Trust me, I lived for YEARS taking every contract that came my way because I felt like I had to. I believed that if I didn’t take every role and show offered to me that I would miss out on an awesome opportunity. What happened instead was that I burnt out because I was doing shows and roles that I had no interest in. I started to feel cranky, tired, and my substance use went way up (P.S. I’m now 2 ½ years sober – but that’s a different tale to tell). 

I’m not doing theatre full time anymore, and that was a huge part of what I needed to do in order to feel fulfilled when I am performing. Nowadays I am a psychotherapist and yoga teacher, and have just started my own business with the lovely Michael Delsine (check out Sea Glass Healing Arts below for more info!). I’ve said no to a lot so that I could say yes to the things that make me truly happy – like singing, yoga, dancing, supporting people, and being present for the pain of other folx in my therapy practice.  

So. I want to support you in feeling confident and prepared to say no and love it. Well, you may not love it at first, but with practice you can totally get there! I want you to be able to say “YES” to the things that truly bring you joy and make your heart sing. And in order to do that, you have to be able to say no to things that don’t. 

Here a few things to think about when you are saying no to all that no longer serves you and/or to the people, places, and things that are pushing your boundaries. ​

First of all - NO IS A FULL SENTENCE.

Yup, you heard me. You don’t have to apologize or make up excuses. You can absolutely just say no without explaining yourself. This one can be pretty tricky for people, so practice it in situations that don’t feel dire – like if you are out to a restaurant and the waiter asks if you are ready to order, say no (even if you are and also as long as you’re not starving). 

We do this thing in our culture where we apologize for literally everything. Once you start paying attention to the words “I’m sorry,” you will hear it everywhere! You don’t have to apologize for saying no. However, sometimes it can feel challenging to use no as a full sentence. So consider “Unfortunately, I won’t be able to join you,” or “I hear that you are feeling that way,” and see how that feels instead of apologizing for something you probably aren’t even sorry for. 

Be firm. 
Here’s the thing, when people are used to pushing your boundaries and have experiences that inform them that your no is really a yes, then they are going to push until you cave. This is where boundaries are super important! I am a big fan of the broken record technique…


Broken Record Technique.  
This one is a classic. Literally all you have to do is be a broken record – pick your short and to the point reply and repeat it without changing it. Often when we answer “No thanks, I don’t want to,” then the person who originally asked the question will try asking in another way, get manipulative or pushy, or try to guilt trip you. Instead of joining them in this dance, simply repeat your answer, “No thanks, I don’t want to.” I will usually give my answer twice and then on the third time add, “… and if you continue to ask/push/disrespect my boundary, I will be walking away.” Then if they STILL don’t take the hint, you say, “No thanks, I don’t want to. And as I said before, if you continued to ask/push/disrespect my boundary, I would be walking away. So now I am leaving,” and then go! One of two things generally happens with this technique. 1. People finally hear you and leave it be. Or 2. They’ll ask something like, “Why do you keep saying the same thing?” The answer? “Because NO IS MY ANSWER.” 


I could write about this forever, but I’ll leave you with these few points: No is a full sentence, be firm and do not apologize, and be a broken record. And remember, you are saying no to the request, not to the person. 

Oh and one more thing! Here is a great structure for writing out responses. This can be useful for emails and texts but also to prepare for in person conversations and phone calls.​

"DEAR MAN"

Describe the facts
 
Express your opinion or feelings
 
Assert what you want or say no; be assertive 
 
Reinforce what the consequences are of getting what you want or not
 
Maintain your position in face of distraction, manipulation, guilt tripping, criticism, or anything else. Repeat DEAR parts above and/or say no using your broken record technique. 
 
Appear confident. Make and hold eye contact and adopt an upright and confident posture. Maybe even try Power Posing like Wonder Woman. 
 
Negotiate. If the other person is still pushing back and not accepting your no, you could consider negotiating with them and pulling back a bit on what you are asking for. However, this one is OPTIONAL. Only use this if it feels safe and appropriate to your situation. ​
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Make sure to check out Meghan and Sea Glass Healing Arts
​on social media! 

Meghan Collier
​
Facebook & IG @mdc_yoga_reiki

Sea Glass Healing Arts
Facebook & IG @seaglasshealingarts
(Plus, check out their upcoming classes and events HERE!)
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Life Between Theater - Part 2

4/30/2020

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I've been seeing some version of this A LOT on Facebook lately:

“It looks like everyone is getting things done but me during stay-at-home. Where is everyone getting the motivation?!?”

I responded specifically to one from a friend of mine from college posted and asked, “What are you trying to get motivated on?” His response? “...EVERYTHING.”

So as promised, I’m sharing with you what immediately came to my mind as to HOW I get and stay motivated during this. And keep in mind these are things that are part of my life OUTSIDE of Covid. Because, as stated in my previous post - theater is PART of my life. It’s not ALL of my life.

(BTW - if you haven't read Part 1 yet, go do that first! Good stuff in there ;)

How I Stay (Or At Least Look Like I Am) Motivated:

Number 1 - A Peek Backstage - Change Your Perspective


Something you should know about me and my business… I have help with my social media because of my business so I LOOK like I’m doing more than I am probably. You think I’m taking an hour to put together perfectly crafted posts on the daily? NOPE! That’s all planned out, in bulk batches, ahead of time, and while the ideas and words are mine and I have posed for the pictures - I have help from someone else (Hey Sydney!) who makes all the magic happen consistently.  

Why? Because I know I am a BUSINESS - as an actor, as a health coach, and as a teacher. Legally I’m an LLC and all. So I hire help for things like my social media presence that I would just NOT be able to keep up on otherwise.

So I totally just outed myself. Why did I do that? Because I want you to understand that when you set yourself up and THINK of yourself as a BUSINESS - you realize that you are allowed to not do everything yourself. Not only that - you CAN’T do everything yourself. You just can’t. And SO MANY PEOPLE stop doing things to move themselves forward because there’s JUST SO MUCH that they can’t even decide what they SHOULD focus on… so they freeze and focus on nothing.

I can’t be an awesome mom, a solid performer, a great teacher and health coach for my clients, AND spend hours a day creating social media posts. I. Just. Can’t. It would take too much of me mentally and I’d be drained every. damn. day.

So I get help. You might not be at the point where that makes sense for you - and that’s fine! But I want you to at least know what you’re comparing your motivation against. To be fully transparent - there are 3 other people on my team besides myself that keep my business functioning the way I need it to so that I can do OTHER things that need to be done. Like meet the guy who installs gutters to get an estimate (which was what I did today… I’M SO EXCITED ABOUT GUTTERS!!!)

If you can’t hire things out (totally makes sense right now!) - sit down. Make a list of ALLLLL the things that would feel REALLY GOOD to get done. And remember that things like “Clean my room” count. Doing the laundry counts. All of those day to day things help to create more mental bandwidth and SPACE for you to be creative once your motivation starts kicking in again.

Number Two - Another Peak Backstage - Scale Your Motivation


There are PLENTY of days when I’m not productive. And I do my best not to judge myself for that and to utilize times when I can find motivation. Even a SUPER small thing can start the motivation (like starting a load of laundry, sweeping one room, etc.) If you can’t find a big thing to do, start small. 

SHOULD you finally create that website you’ve been meaning to create? Maybe. But will sweeping that one corner that’s been collecting cat hair for a month feel WAAAAY more fulfilling right now? If so, go do that! Plus, you get an extra check mark for getting off the couch today. YAY CHECKMARKS!

Also - DON’T in any way beat yourself up for not working on performance stuff. You’re already a good performer and everything in the theater world is put on hold. Give yourself space to find motivation in other things and performance will return. The virtual space is saturated right now with “karaoke” and “cabarets” and that’s all well and good. But if you’re not feeling it, don’t force it. It won’t lead to your best performance and remember… the internet is forever. Do your best to put good quality stuff on it and don’t fret if you’re not as prolific as Screechy Karen over there with her 15 karaoke videos.

Number Three - Your Space


When we’re not in pandemic mode, what my space LOOKS like really tends to take a back seat. I did at one point finally barter with a student of mine to have him come clean the common areas once per week (which I’m TOTALLY missing right now), but in general, my house does not have tons of storage space AND I have a toddler. So there’s stuff EV. ERY. WHERE. And honestly, just looking at it is EXHAUSTING.

And it’s actually been exhausting me for a while I’ve realized. BUT - I’ve been so busy and interior design is so deprioritized on my to-do list that I didn’t realize how much it’s affecting me. But, I’m home now. All the time. So I can’t really ignore it any longer AND I have time to actually DO something about it.

If your space feels SANE (whatever that means to you), motivation is MUCH easier to find. So right now, while you’re not running to workout, then work, then walk the dog, then rehearsal, and maybe eating something somewhere in there and then rinse and repeat tomorrow.... Maybe NOW is the time to really take stock of your space and actually CURATE it to be functional for you post-pandemic.

Everyone seems to be doing this right now. And I know a lot of the people throwing up the “OMG look what I made!” posts are, like, FANCY projects. But yours don’t have to be. Choose some really specific and feasible upgrades that will make your space feel pleasantly calm and homey. We all have to be at home now - make sure it’s somewhere you ENJOY being.

There is a corner of my bedroom that I have redone that I find particularly pleasant. And all I had to do was buy two corner shelves (like… $20 max) and install them (WIIIIIIIIIIICKED easy turns out) and put up a hook for a curtain rod to hang a plant from. Seriously, it completely changes how I feel about this room and now I LOVE being in there.

Number Four -  Get Out! - (Watch the movie but also do the thing)


Make sure to get outside every day. I go insane when I can’t. Unless you are literally in a country, state or city where it is unsafe to go for a walk - do that. If you’re super nervous about it, just walk out onto your front porch and breathe the outside air. Do it with a mask on if that feels better to you.

If you’re feeling EEEEXTRA adventurous, choose a morning to wake up early and beat the crowd to a nearby walking or nature trail. (Crazy… I know).

Most of us have literally never been indoors this much. And thanks to those who HAVE, we have plenty of research showing that it is not great for our mental state overall. If you literally can’t get yourself to do anything else on this list, do this one.

Get your butt outdoors every day for 5 minutes. After a few days, increase it to 10, then 15, etc. I would bet you a bucket of donuts that just getting yourself out of your house or apartment, which probably feels stale and stagnant after being there for weeks, will eventually kick start your motivation to do SOMETHING.

SOOOOOO.....

Ya know that saying "don't compare your every day to someone else's highlight reel"? Truer words were never spoken right now my friends.

You do you. One day at a time. And try to make each day better than the one before. Sometimes it'll work. Sometimes not. But either way, you're doing this RIGHT.

And as always, leave a comment and let me know how YOUR motivation is going.
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Life Between Theater - Part 1

4/30/2020

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There's a pervasive belief in theater that you have to live, breathe, and eat your art in order to "make it" or be a "real actor".

I’ve written about it before and I’ll probably write about it again.


But right now, I think it’s especially important to speak to this. We’re at a time when we CAN’T do theater the way we have before. Thousands of actors are out of work and hundreds (but probably thousands again) of small, underfunded theaters are in danger of not being able to open even when a stay-at-home order is lifted.

But… don’t worry. There’s hope.

There is Life Between Theater.

I know this. Because I am it. I live it daily. I’ve built my LIFE around it.

Those who know me personally are probably confused at this point. Because yes - I do perform. I do teach singing. I do coach audition material and I specifically work with performers to find balance and health while trying to manage finances and life generally.

It would look as though my entire LIFE revolves around theater. And in a way, it does.

But I’ve found during this time at home, when I can only teach virtually (and when I had already planned time off from performing for pregnancy), has really hit home the fact that if you so choose you can build a life that INCLUDES theater but is not ABOUT theater.

And honestly, I think that will be the ONLY way you are actually going to be HAPPY with your theater career in any form it may take. 

And and - it’s the only way you can stay CONSISTENTLY MOTIVATED to keep moving forward in your career.

Because let’s be honest. Only a select few will actually reach the heights of consistent Broadway performance or Hollywood status. And plenty of us have already figured out that - while hard work is necessary in this business - it is not always what gets you to the top.

Meaning if you’re ability to be motivated, move forward consistently, and build a life you love is all contingent of some dude in a room LIKING you enough… that’s not going to be a way to THRIVE in your art. 

But you CAN have a thriving performance career that feels your soul, your art, your pocket, while also having a complex and meaningful life OUTSIDE of theater. And THAT is a great thing to start to discover, right now, when theater is not an option.

This also means that right now, when we’re in the middle of a pandemic of unprecedented proportions (at least for most of us living currently), there ARE things you can do to keep yourself sane, moving forward, and focused on your future.

And it DOESN’T have to mean you post a new karaoke video of you every day OR completely redo your audition book OR website OR reel (though… all great ideas once you get your motivation going ;)

What are NON-theater things that have been keeping you motivated and moving forward in LIFE?

Stay tuned and I’ll let you know what’s keeping me going (and keeping me real and keeping me balanced) during all this soon...
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Practice Imperfectly

1/22/2020

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I was coming inside to sit down and write this blog and 2 super weird things happened:

  • The mail carrier came WICKED EARLY… Like they’re usually not here till 5pm and it’s 9am as I write this
  • They delivered an Athleta catalog that had a quote on the front DIRECTLY speaking to what I was about to write about!

"Patience isn't waiting - it's the knowledge that to become exceptional takes time."
-Allyson Felix (super duper track and field athlete)

Here’s what I wanted to throw your way today…

Just because you sing exceptionally sometimes, does not mean you’ll be able to do it EVERY time.
Just because you have a perfect week where you're able to cook all your own healthy food from home and make it to the gym 5 times doesn't mean you'll be able to do it every time.

That's just not how life works.


Professional singers, athletes, dancers, anyone who dives head first into a physical profession knows - you have days that are slower, days that are “lower performing”, and days that are just off.

Your training, your practice, is not meant to be PERFECTION every time.

It’s meant to be the time that you work the kinks out so that when it really MATTERS - you can be on - 110%.

A student recently said this to me (admittedly paraphrased as this was mid-lesson):

“I can always do it when the pressure is on. It’s like I just have to go for it and accept that it’s going to be whatever it’s going to be. And what it is is usually pretty good. But I beat myself up when I practice whenever it’s not ‘perfect’ and get incredibly frustrated.”

They, and PLENTY of other singers I know, get REALLY down on themselves for not performing to their highest potential EVERY. DAMN. TIME. THEY. SING.

But step back for a second… is that even realistic?

Think about other things you do in life. Take dishes for example. If you’re like me, you’re probably not super concerned about your dishes, though you do want them clean. Which means every once in a while you run across a dish in your drying rack that you, let’s say, didn’t get all the grease off of on the first go. 

Here’s my question - what’s your reaction to that situation?

Is it “OMG I’m such an idiot why can’t I get dishes right?!?”
Or is it “Oops… gotta clean that one again!”

One of these reactions is coming from a place of judgement and attaching your inherent self worth to… dishes… and thus reinforcing a belief that you are not good enough in some way.

And the other is coming from a place of NON-judgement, skipping over the emotional roller coaster that dishes REALLY shouldn’t even call for, cleaning the dish, and moving on with life to the next thing.

So… which one do you do in your singing?
Or in your self-talk (i.e. the things you tell yourself in your head that no one hears)?
Or in your overall performance?
Or in your ability to take care of yourself from a basic health point of view?

How often do you attach your ability to do something perfectly in the moment to your inherent self-worth and self-esteem?

How often do you let the human condition (read: IMPERFECTION) ruin your practice session, or your morning, or your day, or even your entire week?

You CAN become exceptional at what you do. But it takes time. And it takes persistence. And it takes HUGE amounts of tenacity and a willingness to actively move past rejection.

Which is especially hard when the person rejecting you is… you.

Be patient.
Be imperfect.
Be non-judgemental

And keep coming back to your voice lessons, or dance classes, or making time to get to the grocery store for fresh foods.

Keep doing the work and you will see, over time, that it will pay off.
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When is it ENOUGH?

12/5/2019

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You guys know me well enough by now that I feel like I can admit to you something that no health coach should admit EVER…

I don’t actually like exercising.

And frankly, while I’m being honest we might as well get something out there as a voice teacher as well…

I don’t actually like warming up.

Might as well live up to my business name, Keeping It Real, right?

Now, I don’t mean I HAAAAATE these things. I just don’t “like” them.

They’re boring at times. I have to get into weird looking positions or make noises that don’t sound great. I have to set aside time when I could be doing other things for them. I have to do it super CONSISTENTLY in order to see any results.

But that word
- CONSISTENTLY -
that's what this shizz is about!

Because exercising and vocal warm ups have something in common… if you want the results they offer, you have to keep doing them. Consistently. Persistently. Even if you don’t want to. Even during holidays. Somewhere between 5-7 days per week if you want to see real results quickly.

Which brings me to my next point. I recently spoke with a performer who wants to lose some weight and they said to me “It feels like if I don’t go to the gym for and hour and a half every day then what’s the point?”

And that mentality right there, that’s where the BURNOUT comes in.

Because with exercise and warm ups - YES - you do need to do them consistently!

But you don’t have to do them for HOURS every day.

I mean we’re talking about things that you’re ideally doing almost daily FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE PEOPLE!

Why you being cray cray and giving ALL your time to it
every day?!?

When we’re talking about consistency and what it actually takes to build a healthy life as a performer, we’re not talking about full out no marking every damn day.

We’re talking about making sure you come back over and over again to the pieces of work that are NOT glamorous. That DON’T make you feel like a diva. That force you to pay attention consistently to the areas that need to be worked on.

So in voice lessons - NO, you don’t need to hit all your highest notes in every song. It’s not about living in the extremes of your range in every exercise. It IS worth it to just work the middle MANY days. Just getting through 3 warm ups before rehearsal DOES help (though yes the full round is always better).

In exercise - it TOTALLY COUNTS if you just hop on the treadmill and walk for a half hour. It’s fine if you choose to just do 3 strength exercises REALLY WELL, instead of a full upper body workout.

There’s perfect, and then there’s ENOUGH. 

You will never be “done” with these things. Your body doesn’t work that way. So do ENOUGH that you feel like you’ve done SOMETHING, but not so much that you won’t be able to do it CONSISTENTLY.

Consistency is boring, but consistency is the key that starts to unlock the other places you can go with you body, your voice, or your overall performance. 

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Mics, Theater Life, and Patti...

10/29/2019

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A student of mine recently tagged me in a short article interviewing Patty LuPone (a broadway icon - if you don't know her YOU SHOULD! Check her out here). In this article, Ms. LuPone talked about how singers don’t know how to fill the house anymore and are relying on their mic's too much (as well as a few other things).

My student was wondering what I thought about this... so I'm going to tell you...

But before I do, I'd like to preface by saying I'm looking at this purely from a vocal & physical health perspective. I know VERY WELL that some of what I'm going to say is unrealistic for some productions. Especially in smaller theaters and communities where training and talent is somewhat limited. So please know that my intention is to inform about what the IDEAL should be when it comes to a life in theater.

Here goes...

YES - YOU SHOULD RELY ON YOUR MICS!

Frankly, if you are a big house who has a wonky sound system and you're expecting your performers to fill the space while belting or mixing, you're just asking your performers to hurt themselves. No amount of "breath support" or "putting it in the mask" will help them because, at a basic level, you're not dealing with anatomy at that point - you are dealing with the laws of acoustics. If you're interested in learning more about this I'd be happy to answer further questions, but I'm keeping it short here because there's quite a few pieces to the acoustics puzzle to understand overall. Suffice to say - belting/mixing as an actual viable way of singing and mics came into popularity around the same time because it was the first time you COULD make that sound in a functional and sustainable way without blowing your voice out constantly.

Looking at a slightly different realm, opera singers sing the way that they do because their art form is generally not sung on mic. And their voices STILL need to be able to carry not only in a big house but also over an entire orchestra. So they tend to be incredibly technically proficient singers (which is where the idea that being "classically trained" is better than not... which is questionable as well considering some teachers out there...). They also tend to have way too much push, but that has to do with the aesthetic of our current times rather than that being a useful part of their technique.

HOWEVER...
YES, YOUR PRESENCE SHOULD BE ABLE TO FILL A ROOM

I hope that her comment had more to do with general stage presence and ability to be captivating on stage, but I also think this part of her comment is also inherently dangerous to singers because so much of who we are as performers is wrapped up in our voices. You need to be comfortable on stage and OWN who you are so you can FULLY SHOW UP to do your job.

The ability to do this, for most, takes YEARS. Years of trial and error. Years of training. Years of putting in the time and effort. And still, at the end of the day, this is something that is viewed completely from the perspective of the viewer. I have seen excellent performers who I thought were totally captivating... but my viewing partner did not. I have also had people say to me, "Oh my gosh didn't she/he just GLOW on stage?!" And I'm over here like... "No?" It's all subjective. So please STOP beating yourself up about this one.

EIGHT SHOWS A WEEK = NO LIFE

I mean... this one is kinda true. But hopefully you're doing it because you TRULY enjoy that life. I know a few performers who are currently on Broadway for a 8 shows a week and while, yes, they enjoy their life, they've also curated it so that they CAN keep their bodies going during their runs.

What does that mean?
  • That means they don't go out partying and drinking.
  • They get enough sleep.
  • They make sure to get good foods into their bodies while avoiding ones that are going to break them down and cause imbalance.
  • They might not be in relationships or have children because they choose theater and their career first ( this certainly isn't a choice you HAVE to make... I also know performers who have happy spouses and children... but I personally chose not to do that...).
  • They frequently have parallel careers that add to their income in ways that keep them HEALTHY (I.E. not waiting tables for hours on end or taking jobs that require them to talk all day). And when your contract is up? Gotta find a new one... which is why they have those parallel careers. So they don't have to take jobs that break them down between contracts.
  • They spend their time and money on classes and lessons to keep them in top shape.

That's their life. Theater is their life.

LASTLY - THIS IS WHY WE
DON'T RELY ON PERFORMERS FOR TECHNICAL ADVICE

There is no doubt that Ms. Lupone is freaking AWESOME at what she does. I, personally, have had the pleasure of seeing her on stage when she was in Sweeney Todd a few years back and it was fantastic.

However, that does not mean she knows how to tell you what you should do with your voice. That's not her job. You want to know how she does what she does so damn well? You need to find out who SHE studied with. What is their background? What have they studied? Did they actually go to school or a training program to learn how to teach voice? Or are they also relying on their own intrinsic understanding of their OWN voice... and hoping that applies to you? (Hint: it most likely does not...)

You want a teacher who knows THE voice... not just THEIR voice.

In conclusion, my director and music director friends, PLEASE stop telling singers to NOT rely on their mics in big houses. Especially YOUNG singers who, no matter how much training they've had up till that point, cannot fully understand the function of their voice yet (too many hormones in there messing with the sensation of things on a DAILY basis.) You're just asking them to hurt themselves, without them knowing how to do anything differently. On top of that, you're perpetuating a culture of "The Show Must Go On... at any cost", which is exactly how actors fizzle, burn out, and give up on their dreams.

Let's make smarter performers, shall we?
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Drunk Purple Elephant: Part 2

10/19/2019

1 Comment

 

I needed space and a slower pace...

Slowly… VERY slowly (like, 10 years slowly)… my relationship with alcohol improved. I started to notice the things that triggered my need for a drink. I started hanging out with new people who didn’t need alcohol to have a good time. I spent more time outside of the city. I started running to take the edge off.

This past July, I finally made an active commitment to decrease my alcohol consumption to… nothing. It hasn’t been terrible for quite a few years, but I could still feel it’s hold on me. So from July 4th until September something or other I completely and HAPPILY quit. 

Since then, it’s come back here and there. But not at ALL with the same voracious NEED that was there previously. I do, honestly, find myself enjoying the same situations just as much as before when I needed (yes… needed) alcohol for them.

Until the other night. Very briefly. I got a glimpse of it again...

And it made SO. MUCH. SENSE. I suddenly had a whole new understanding of WHY I was so stuck in this cycle in the past.

When I was in NYC, I was building and working. Building my performance career. Building my teaching studio. Building my bank account. All the while working multiple jobs to support me WHILE I continued building.

Building and building and pushing and pushing myself forward. Always forward. FULL OUT NO MARKING!!

So much so that when I finally got home at night... I STILL had all the admin work for my own businesses to do.

My brain was never allowed to turn off.

Thinking back, I was numbing. Numbing from being overworked. Numbing from the fact that I was anxious ALL. THE. TIME. and couldn’t shut my brain off and actually get a good night’s sleep. And I would drink so that when I HAD to sleep, my head would hit the pillow and I would be out for at least a few hours.

And I ALMOST fell into it last night. Because I’m STILL building.

BUT! This time it’s only for a few weeks. I know when I can take a step back for a second and breathe.

So… I tell you this in the spirit of transparency. I DID have a drink last night.

But just one. A small one (for real though). AND I made a plan. I have rehearsal till 5pm tonight and then I’m done working. I have time tomorrow to get whatever else needs to be done and it is MORE important that I DON’T engage with the current zeitgeist that is HUSTLE.

And I made another commitment to myself.

You’ve probably (hopefully) at this point seen my posts/emails about my “Performance Lifestyle Reset!” coming up Nov. 4. Well here’s a cool thing about it…


I’M GOING TO BE DOING IT WITH YOU!

Not just sitting off on the sidelines telling you what to do. In fact, EVERY time I’ve run this I ALWAYS do it with my participants.


Because it feels crappy to me to not walk my talk. Because I want to be able to empathize with and really HEAR what you're going through and what your difficulties are.

And because I have more to learn too.



This time… I know in my Nutrition section I’ll have “No Alcohol” as one of my goals. To SUPPORT that goal, I’ll have “Meditate or journal twice daily, morning and night” in my Mental/Emotional/Lifestyle section. (If you're lost on the sections bit head here to learn more...)


I have an idea of what will be in the other sections as well, but that one specifically became clear to me last night.

And that’s the point of this reset. To help you COMMIT to the actions you want to take towards a healthier lifestyle AND be able to set OTHER intentions that can support your actions.

So… If you’re interested in my “Performance Lifestyle Reset” after reading this, then check out this video to get more info about it.


Or if you’re just ready to go for it and just need logistics, head HERE to learn more and sign up!


You are worth a balanced lifestyle. We need your creative genius in the world. We need to you SHOW UP fully for your performances. And if there’s something getting in the way of that, this is just the step in the right direction you need to get started making a change.

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Drunk Purple Elephant: Part 1

10/19/2019

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I'm sitting in a coffee shop feeling REALLY apprehensive about this post...

It’s time to address the drunk purple elephant in the room…

Alcohol. Specifically, alcohol and the performer’s lifestyle.

Before I get too deep though, I want to throw some disclaimers out there (just to be safe… in case of charging drunk purple elephants):
  1. I am not a mental health or alcohol and substance abuse counselor. Any advice I give in here really is meant from personal experience and training in health and life coaching and should not be taken as professional advice in those specific capacities.
  2. I, personally, find myself actively disconnecting from the terms “alcoholic” and/or “alcoholism” so I will not be using them here. YOU, however, are welcome to use any terms you’d like, totally judgement free :)
  3. This blog is not meant in anyway to be a self diagnosis for you. If you feel you need active help in this area, please seek out a professional (which I am happy to help you with if you shoot me an email through my contact page).

OK! Now that we’re all clear we need to back up a bit to my story so you can see WHY this is such an important topic and why the taboo around it’s discussion needs to be broken. And I’ll start with honesty (though it scares me to do so)...

I started experimenting with alcohol before it was legal for me (sorry mom!) But really, being a young student in college that wasn’t unexpected. As an undergrad in musical theater living in NYC, life was sort of turned up to the max for me. I was at the extremes of any spectrum at all times. When I sang, it was overdone (hence how I ended up pre-nodular AND with a fold hemorrhage…). When I acted, it was either melodrama or just BLAH. When I tried to lose weight, it was binge and purge. When I partied, it was great fun until the next day when I had to deal with the consequences. 

The summer between undergrad and grad school I wanted to lose weight, so I joined Weight Watchers, and kicked it’s butt! I lost 50 pounds! Yahoo!

Except... not so much with the yahoo...

My meetings in NYC at the time very much celebrated any sort of weight loss. The leaders didn’t necessarily look at what the REAL problems were for people. (Ex. I had them look at my journal one week when I didn’t lose weight and they said it was the Snickers bar I had once during that week… not the multiple glasses of wine per night…Snickers was more points!)

Looking back, my obvious issue was that I would survive only on veggies (no points!) with a smattering of fat and protein throughout the day and LOTS of black coffee with Splenda (my best friend at the time) and end up with like 15-20 extra points at night (I had 32 or something like that for the WHOLE DAY). Wine was about 3 points…. So guess what I used to make up the extra points…


And I worked out A LOT. Too much. So I got those extra points too…

Fast forward and I’m keeping the weight off, but I’m managing most of a bottle of wine PER NIGHT. Now, the problem was that alcohol was:
  1. Serving a very real purpose (at least to me) of letting my brain “relax” working 4-7 jobs at any given time trying to keep up with NYC expenses 
  2. Not something anyone saw as being a problem! Because, I was realistically only drinking maybe a glass more on a day to day basis than most of my friends and they were willing to get just as blasted on party nights.

Fast forward again - CANCER!

I find out after a routine doctors appointment that I had a pre-cancerous lesion. But like, stage 4 pre-cancerous. Like, if we don’t fix this NOW you will officially have cancer. There’s no wiggle room.

I was only 22 or 23. VERY not ready to deal with this. But also, I just have to go in and do the procedure and everything is hunky dory! Right?

So I go in to get it dealt with. And while I’m literally ON THE TABLE ready for them to do the procedure they start making me sign PAPERWORK saying that I am cool with the fact that this could result in my being INFERTILE.

No. Nope nope nopey nope nope. I knew I always wanted kids. I was dating a wonderful man (now my husband) who might be the one to help out in that department. And I had to make the obvious choice (to live) and potentially give that up...

As I was walking back to the subway afterwards I broke down crying on the streets of NYC and realized something had to change. My accompanist mentioned a performer he knew (Farah Alvin... check her out) who was also a health coach specifically dealing in women’s health. I signed right the f*** up.

We got me off the Splenda and eating real sugars. We got me out of Weight Watchers (not that it’s a bad thing overall, just not great for me). We got protein into me. We got good fats into me. We got good whole grains into me. I ended up gaining back some of the weight but I was still within my healthy range and WAAAAAY saner. 

But above all - she listened. I talked to her about the alcohol. And the issues I was having with NYC. And slowly, over time, I accepted that things needed to change. I couldn’t be a healthy person in that city anymore.

I needed space and a slower pace...

Stay tuned! Part 2 comes out in two days...

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